RuPaul says he used 'depression' to justify his 'ability to get away with a lot of other bad behavior'

RuPaul Charles, drag queen and RuPaul’s Drag Race host, opened up about his struggles with depression and its impact on his behavior during an event focused on his memoir, The House of Hidden Meanings.

Speaking at the Southbank Centre’s Royal Festival Hall in London on Sunday, April 7, 2024, RuPaul opened up about his journey through depression, substance use, and the quest for emotional growth.

During the event, the television host discussed the myriad ways in which depression influenced his actions and worldview. He vividly described how depression served as a justification for negative behavior, stating,

"My darkness, my depression will justify my ability to get away with a lot of other bad behaviour… ‘well, the world has done me bad’… ‘well, you know, eff you all, I’m (going to) do my own thing, whatever I wanted,’" RuPaul said.

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RuPaul's journey through personal challenges

The television host’s journey is marked by significant challenges, including drug use since the age of 10 and a long battle to achieve nearly 25 years of sobriety. He also spoke about "dissociating from his emotions" due to a tumultuous home life during childhood and near-arrests at various points in his career.

These experiences shaped his understanding of himself and his behaviors, including an "addiction to rushing," which he has since addressed by adopting the habit of arriving 15 minutes early for appointments—a tip he reportedly picked up from Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour.

A significant focus of RuPaul’s discussion was the importance of repairing one's relationship with their inner child, a process he described as crucial for overcoming years of self-neglect.

"It takes work because we’re talking years and years and years of abusing this child, honey," he emphasized, urging the audience to undertake the necessary work to heal and grow emotionally.

A significant part of RuPaul's discussion also emphasized the critical nature of mending one's relationship with their inner child, a process he describes as essential for healing years of neglect.

RuPaul expressed his feelings about his struggles as a child, which highlights the necessity for individuals to engage in emotional work for growth and healing.

This theme of self-reliance and personal responsibility resonated throughout his talk, especially in his reflections on society's current divisive state and the need for individuals to take care of their emotional well-being without expecting others to do so for them.

The drag queen also opened up about his complex relationship with his father, Irving Andrew Charles, during his talk at the Southbank Centre's Royal Festival Hall. He discussed how the lack of a stable paternal figure affected his interactions with men throughout his life and influenced his search for emotional connection.

The drag queen and television host also shared personal details about his marriage to Georges LeBar, pointing out the unique dynamic of affection and pursuit in their relationship, contrasting sharply with his previous experiences.

Stressing the importance of self-care and active participation in the democratic process, the TV host and drag queen encouraged the audience to embrace personal well-being and engage in voting as a form of civic responsibility.

He clearly stated his decision to steer clear of political involvement while underscoring the importance of contributing to the democratic process.

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RuPaul's forthright discussion at the Royal Festival Hall not only offered a glimpse into his personal struggles and triumphs but also served as a powerful call to action for individuals to embark on their journeys of self-discovery, healing, and responsible citizenship.

Through his experiences, the drag queen illuminates the path toward overcoming adversity, embracing personal growth, and the profound impact of taking charge of one's emotional and civic life.