What Does Gaslighting Mean?

Psychologists define "gaslighting" as a type of manipulation in which the manipulator attempts to persuade somebody else (Photo by Daniel Reche/pexel)
Psychologists define gaslighting as a type of manipulation. (Photo via Pexel/Daniel Reche)

Gaslighting is a type of manipulation in which the manipulator attempts to persuade somebody (or a group of people) to question their own reality, memory, or perceptions. According to psychologists, it's always a serious issue.

Gaslighting occurs in personal relationships (for example, an abusive spouse or, in rarer cases, a parent), professional relationships (for example, a manipulative boss or coworker who preys on a subordinate), and even by prominent people.

The phenomenon involves a power imbalance between the abuser and the person being gaslighted. Abusers frequently take advantage of stereotypes or vulnerabilities associated with gender, sexuality, race, nationality, and/or class.


Why is it called gaslighting?

The term 'gaslighting' derives from the 1938 play 'Gas Light', which was adapted into the 1940 film Gas Light and followed by the more well-known 1944 film Gaslight, featuring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman.

In every task, a male protagonist persuades his wife that she's making up what's actually happening, such as the dimming of the house's gas lights, leading her to believe that she has gone insane.


Signs of gaslighting

Here are a few:

Questioning your feelings and reality: You try to convince yourself that the treatment you're receiving is not so bad or that you're overly sensitive.

You doubt your judgment and perceptions: You're afraid to speak up or express your emotions. You've learned that sharing your thoughts usually makes you feel worse in the end, so you choose to remain silent instead.

You feel vulnerable and insecure: You frequently feel like you're 'walking on eggshells' all over your partner, friend, or family member. You're also tense and have low self-esteem.

You feel alone and powerless: You believe that everyone around you thinks you're strange, crazy or instable, just like the person who's really gaslighting your claims. That causes you to feel trapped.

Isolation: Many gaslighters try to isolate their victims from their friends, family, and other support systems.

Tone control: If you challenge a gaslighter, they may criticize your tone of voice. This is a technique used to change the narrative and convince you that you, not your abuser, are to blame.

A warm-cold behavior cycle: A gaslighter may intersperse abusive language and praise to throw a person off balance and frequently during the same conversation.


How to respond to gaslighting

Sate your boundaries without explanation. (Photo via Unsplash./John Crozier)
Sate your boundaries without explanation. (Photo via Unsplash./John Crozier)

The safest, and often most effective, way to assert to a gaslighter is to state your boundaries without explanation. If your safety is ever in doubt, or if you're feeling stressed, don't try to communicate; instead, leave the conversation.

If you do decide to respond, keep your response brief, to the point, and as direct as possible. and avoid responding in the heat of the moment.

Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down so that you can consider what to say or not. If the gaslighter has previously acted in this manner towards you, or if they continue to try to manipulate you, it would be best to avoid speaking with them.


Gaslighting in the workplace

In a place of work, gaslighting can occur in the absence of a racial dynamic. You could be experiencing gaslighting if an individual in a position of power provokes you to doubt yourself in a way that impacts your professional life or self belief.


Gaslighting examples

Gaslighting (Photo via Pexel/Energepic.com)
Gaslighting (Photo via Pexel/Energepic.com)

It can occur in a variety of settings, including a doctor's office, workplace, and, perhaps most notoriously, romantic relationships. Some examples are:

#1 "That didn't happen"

Victims of gaslighting frequently doubt themselves. The individual will act or say something exploitative and then deny that.

The victim begins to doubt (their) instincts and relies more and more on the 'reality' the abuser creates and manipulates. That also increases one's reliance on the abuser.

#2 "You're insane, and others believe you are as well"

In addition to casting doubt on their victims, gaslighters may cause them to question their own sanity.

The gaslighter may also attempt to persuade the victim's family and friends that they're mentally to discredit any claims made by the victim.

#3 I'm sorry you believe I harmed you"

While this statement appears to be an apology, it's not. Instead, this is a tactic used by abusers to shift blame to the victim.

This type of apology causes the victim to question their own judgment and wonder if they truly overreacted. That may cause the victim to rely on the abuser's version of events.


A word from Sportskeeda

There are ways to stop gaslighting. (Photo via Unsplash/Emma Simpson)
There are ways to stop gaslighting. (Photo via Unsplash/Emma Simpson)

Remember that you're not really to blame for what's happening to you. The person who's maniplating you has chosen to act in this manner. They's held accountable for their actions. Nothing you did caused them to make this decision, and you won't be able to change it.

Counseling can show you how to make healthy decisions and set limits with individuals who engage in emotional manipulation. You may eventually come to the conclusion that you should end the relationship.

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