Power of Self forgiveness: Embracing Compassion and Growth

Self forgiveness is necessary for our growth. We make mistakes. Irrespective of who we are, where we are from, and what we do, all of us make mistakes. These mistakes don't define who you are. Self forgiveness involves acknowledging and accepting one's imperfections, learning from our experiences, and showing compassion and understanding to oneself.

Yes its not a single stage process and can be incredibly hard for most of us. When you make peace with all your previous choices, it creates the space for you to move on with your life and make even better, more kind, and more enjoyable choices going forward.

It doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, you are bound to make mistakes. Will you be able to forgive yourself? (Image via Vecteezy/ Vecteezy)

Why is forgiveness important?

Forgiveness is a powerful act of taking care of yourself. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

Forgiveness is a powerful tool to heal yourself and pay attention to your internal needs. It is inevitable that we will hurt others and others will hurt us. However, by engaging in forgiveness we learn to reduce the emotional burden. It is important since its directly linked to how you feel about yourself and others. It replaces all the negative emotions you have been experiencing with something more potent: self-compassion and love.

By engaging in forgiveness, you see yourself and others separate from the mistakes and don't determine worth based on these experiences. By acknowledging this, you enhance your relationship with self and others. It is also a protective factor against mental health issues, such as Major Depressive Disorder.

What does it mean to forgive yourself?

What does forgiveness look like? We all have an inner critic in our minds, telling us whether we are good or bad, based on the actions we take. Self forgiveness is not letting this self critic take charge of who you are and what you deserve.

It doesn't imply that we forget what we have done, and move ahead. Rather, it means taking responsibility for our actions and allowing ourselves to recover from the harm. We are generally able to forgive others, but when it comes down to us, we hold harsh internal standards. These sound like "I should not make a mistake", " I should not fail at this", or "I can't disappoint anyone".

These statements and thoughts become an impedement in forgiving yourself. When you forgive yourself, you accept yourself and see yourself as separate from the mistakes you made. You recognize that you can fail and that is okay. As a consequence you engage in self-love and care.

How to forgive yourself?: the art of Self Forgiveness

How to forgive yourself? Is there a way to go about it? (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. - C.S Lewis

By taking a step towards self forgiveness, you look at your past mistakes and choices with a smile. You were doing the best you could with where you were and what resources you had. Now you know different, you can choose different. Self forgiveness is a way to restore your inner peace.

The first step towards self forgiveness is acknowledging that you have made a mistake. A lot of times we get stuck in the cycle of guilt and shame. This may stem from your childhood experiences. For instance, think of your childhood. How did your parents respond when you made a mistake? If they shamed you and called you a 'bad' child, it can be likely that you face difficulty in self forgiveness.

You need to take responsibility for yourself and see your journey as a learning curve. When you start seeing the mistake as an opportunity to learn, a shift happens within yourself. Most importantly be compassionate towards yourself in this entire process. Even if it feels like the worst right now, you can learn to recover from it. Remember, that you are not the only one who makes mistakes.

We have all been in situations where we have asked for forgiveness or been asked to forgive someone that has hurt us. But why does forgiving and forgetting seem so much harder to achieve?

Without true self forgiveness, it can be difficult to move on from the hurt in our past. And it’s not always about forgetting what we did, but can be more about the emotional release within ourselves that self forgiveness unlocks. While it can be difficult to move forward with the pain, everyone deserves a second chance.

Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.

What do you think of this story? Tell us in the comments section below.