Do you engage in attention-seeking behavior? Where does it stem from?

Have you ever engaged in attention-seeking behavior? Well, most of us have at some point in our lives. However, seeking attention is often pathologized, and a lot of us try to stay away from it, while those displaying such behavior are called names and are often considered disruptive.

We all seek attention and validation at some point. It means that, as children and adults, we strive to seek attention from our loved ones, especially our primary caregivers.

Sometimes, we may feel frustrated or annoyed by people who engage in this behavior. That can be especially problematic when they continuously push boundaries. While attention-seeking is not in itself pathological, you can seek help when you want it.

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Attention-seeking behavior signs

Attention-seeking behavior is can be considered unhealthy by many. (Image via Vecteezy/Alexander Piragis)

While seeking attention and validation is not atypical, excessive attention seeking can show up as emotional manipulation, unruly behaviours, dressing and looking a certain way, seeking attention and validation from anyone, and needing the most likes or comments on social media.

Some common attention-seeking examples include exaggerating their emotions and actions in front of others. It's also not uncommon for individuals to seek negative attention.

For example, children often throw temper tantrums to seek attention from their parents or to get their needs fulfilled. Additionally, some children also become the 'clowns' in class so that their classmates laugh and enjoy their jokes.

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What causes attention-seeking behavior?

What causes adults and children to engage in this behavior? (Image via Freepik/rawpixel.com)

One of the primary causes of attention-seeking behavior is emotional deprivation. Many of us have learned that getting attention is equal to being loved.

We learn while growing up that by asking a lot, we are likely to get it, but craving attention can lead to suffering, co-dependency and not-so-great relationships if left unregulated.

Emotional deprivation and emptiness are the root causes of this strong emotional need. If you have to beg for someone’s attention or are getting attention for the wrong reasons by the wrong people, it’s time to raise your standards and build your self-worth.

Individuals with low self-esteem may also frequently engage in attention-seeking. They may feel that they need others' validation and attention to feel fulfilled and complete and continue to behave in ways that help them feel valued.

Additionally, childhood trauma of being neglected can also push people to engage in attention-seeking behaviors.

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We may think people are being defiant, stubborn or attention-seeking, but what if we try to see things from their point of view? What if we realize that they are not trying to get our attention but our connection?

That may be especially true in the case of young children, but if you do that attention-seeking behavior has become disruptive for you and others around you, it could be time for introspection.

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Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.

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